Society Camp – The Podcast: Episode 1 is now live!

Our first full length episode is now live! Let this now be known in popular culture as Episode 1, as opposed to that movie about incest in space known as Star Wars. The link is below, or download it from Spotify, Google Podcasts and other platforms.

This 45 minutes of audio angst covers COVID conundrums, like dealing with all the awful art kids are ‘creating’. We hate on joggers and their juicy germs. We dig into our vault with our first ‘Fails from the Crypt Keeper’ to talk about horking in public. And we answer some Fail Bag questions, like why are puzzles so goddamn awful. Come for the new and improved sound, stay for the judgement.

And don’t forget to send in your questions, comments, memes and hate mail to: the.society.camp@gmail.com, or hit us up on our Society Camp Instagram and/or Facebook page.

And like all annoying podcasters, I’m going to ask for you to subscribe to the podcast wherever you get your pods (Apple is still pending but should be any day – they must know I’m an Android guy). Ugh, did I just call myself an Android guy? Imagine tying your persona to a some mobile operating system? Like those Apple fans who put the goddamn apple stickers on their bumper. Like that is what you are telling the world about yourself? That you like to overspend on phones every two years in some blind allegiance to a company that literally only cares about you in as much as you live long enough to buy more overpriced gadgets. But hey, we are looking forward to the Apple Podcast hook-up!

Thanks for tuning in! And stay tuned for some new articles coming up this week. Doing the lord’s work of saving you from your boredom, one trivial post at a time.

https://www.spreaker.com/user/jovial_narcissist/episode-1-crappy-covid-kid-art-and-tange

We have a podcast!

Writing posts was apparently too hard for our beloved Camp Director. The last time a post was submitted the only global virus people were afraid of was antibiotic resistant gonorrhoea. Bet we all wish we could go be going back to that simple time right about now.

While we are all stuck in our homes, trying our hardest not to kill our partners and family and blame it on an owl attack, we thought it a good time to launch our long awaited podcast. Now you can hear our angst in real time, as we discuss all the shitty things people continue to do. And given our current global pandemic, so many of humanity’s worst traits are on full display. I hope those bats that started all of this were fucking delicious (I’m going to assume deep-fried is the only acceptable way to eat a bat, not that I think any method is really acceptable, because a flying rat is as terrifying as it is germ infested).

Check out our trailer episode below (we know, trailer episodes are trash, but hey, at least this one is about as organised as a Jackson Pollock painting). A new, full episode will launch this week. And if you have any questions for the Fail Bag, send them to: the.society.camp@gmail.com, or send us a message on our Society Camp Facebook page. We also are about to launch an Instagram page and get back on Twitter. Look at us, all grown up and serious.

Awful Humans of…Dublin

We don’t do the important work, god’s work really, of Society Camp for the acclaim and the many, many dollars it brings costs us, we do it to make you all less insufferable. But goddamn it’s hard to watch this Humans of New York guy swimming in praise and more importantly, pools and pools of money, for doing nothing more than being really intrusive into people’s private lives and exhibiting basic photography skills. So we decided here at Society Camp that it was time to go on a road trip to serve as inspiration to see what awful things awful people around the awful globe are carrying out on a daily basis. In our first installment of our Awful Humans of… series, we will be talking about our important research in Dublin, where we witnessed some truly discouraging things about the state of humanity, and also, some pretty great things too, but let’s not dwell on the positives. Continue Reading→

Society Camp Movie Reviews: The Benchwarmers

Welcome to a new installation here at Society Camp, where we review movies that no one should have ever watched. Unless of course that person happens to have been held captive in some Al-Qaeda stronghold, where your captors, in a moment of compassion, give you a taste of all that American style freedom you’re missing out on. In this instance, it would involve a horrible movie and Arby’s take out, which sounds about as awful as anything they could inflict on you in general day-to-day hostage life.

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Today we’ll be reviewing The Benchwarmers, which has to be the absolute worst baseball movie ever made, even worse than all those after school special movies about some baseball team made up of shitty white kids coached by Dean Cain, who somehow beat the clearly superior inner-city team, because Jesus has their backs.  Continue Reading→

Grocery Stores: Where produce and my soul go to die

I should start this little ditty by saying I fucking love going to the grocery store. I can easily spend hours, even days, wandering the aisles and gleefully spending my time squeezing all the French breads (soft interior, crispy on the out) and looking for exciting new condiments, which now make up roughly 80 percent of my fridge. The trick, however, is going late on a weeknight so you have the place completely to yourself, which allows you to avoid the wretched masses who turn the beautiful experience of grocery shopping into a living, fucking, nightmare. Continue Reading→

Fuck Your Baby on Board…Sign

Let me start by saying I don’t hate babies. I hate what they become, as they mostly grow up to be people who lack any understanding of the societal norms that should govern our every action. But when they are in baby form, they are generally in my good books, because they are cute and don’t know how to talk yet. Obviously some babies are garbage, though that mostly has to do with teething and shitty parents. But goddamn, I hate every one of those stupid Baby on Board stickers more than I hate jaundice (which I’ve never had, but imagine is no picnic).  Continue Reading→

Sick at Work: Infecting colleagues with germs instead of negativity

I don’t know about you, but before joining the Society Camp ranks, I was pretty damn sick of my 9-5, as you all should be, because they suck your soul out in exchange for money and shitty coffee. But one thing that is not okay, is making work sick.

Some of you may have noticed by now that I’m a fairly crotchety fellow on my best days, and often infect any place of work I attend with negative attitudes. And that is okay, because we all need a healthy dose of negativity to make sure we don’t become that insufferable asshole who shows up to work on Mondays with a smile on his stupid face. And also, people at work do disgusting and inconsiderate things that they deserve to be called out on and mocked incessantly for. But no matter how annoying, stupid, ignorant or joyless your colleagues may be, they don’t deserve your cold or flu. On second thought, most of them probably do, but for the sake of this discussion, you shouldn’t pass on your viruses and germs onto colleagues, no matter how many times they irritate, and test, every fiber of your moral and ethical being.  Continue Reading→

Your Ideas Stink, Stop Trying

Society Camp is a lonely place, and not lonely in the sense that there aren’t lots of people around, because there are, but more so, because all those people are awful and spending time with them makes you a worse person. So for the most part, as the Camp Director, I have a lot of time time to kill in-between administering reform punishments, and that mostly involves Netflix, alcohol, and a healthy amount of introspection. All that to say, I’ve been watching a shit-tonne of Shark Tank, where mostly fake millionaires, and Mark Cuban, make investments in ideas/entrepreneurs that probably never come to fruition once they’ve combed through the numbers and realize that all people trying to raise money are filthy liars. Continue Reading→

Elevating Elevator Use

I’m trying hard, very hard, not to lose my shit on people who seem to not know that human decency is personified in how one uses a goddamn elevator. How can something that seems so basic, a box on a pulley that ushers plebs up and down to their meaningless jobs and shitty condos, be fraught with so much absurd confusion and a lack of self-awareness?

Look, maybe if I had this thing people keep raving about, “cardio”, I’d be okay with taking the stairs and avoiding the horror that is walking into a box filled with awful scents and worse people. But unfortunately for all involved, I gave up on personal fitness and put all my eggs in the ‘science will soon invent a pill that saves me from ever having to set foot on an elliptical‘ basket. I guess that pill kinda already exists in the form of a methamphetamine, which has been used in the pharmaceutical weight-loss game for decades, but I like my teeth and also, those people have shitty cardio, but can fit into anything made by Gucci. Cocaine would probably also work, in the event you wanted to broaden your horizons.  Continue Reading→

I blame Trump, for like, all my own failures.

Look, since we last spoke, shit has transpired. The world is forever changed. A bloated turnip with golden retriever pubes for a haircut, is the President. Anyway, you all know this and are probably sick of seeing your Facebook feed filled with his mug. This isn’t about his awful policies, his racists rhetoric, and his general inability to run the most powerful nation in the world. I’ll let actual reporters do that for me. No, this is simply my mea culpa for being a lazy asshole who wants to be a famous writer with the jaw of George Clooney and the abs of Madonna, but would rather play NBA JAM on the SNES than pretty much anything worthwhile, like going for a walk to see if the snow is gone yet.

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