Yawning – Shut up already

Usually when people open their mouths, annoying words come out of them. But on occasion, the words are replaced with obnoxious air in the form of a yawn. Yawning is a biological necessity, I get that. It’s the brain needing more oxygen or something (I was too lazy to Google the specifics), it doesn’t actually mean you’re tired. Regardless, it’s something we all do throughout the day. Just some of us do it with more gumption and general douchebaggery than others. Some people want the world to know that they’re yawning, and have developed a go-to style or sound to accompany the passage of air to the brain. These people are terribly annoying. Continue Reading→

Talking on the Phone in Public – Ever heard of texting?

People’s voices are, for the most part, really annoying. Even people you like, over time, just get to you. The way they say things, their syntax and expressions, just the whole kit and caboodle (that term is heavily underutilized) will likely drive you nuts over time. That’s why we, as people, need some moments of silence, or you know, a couple hours of Homeland, in order to disconnect and forget that human interactions form the basis of our mundane lives.

Those voices, the oral window into the rotten souls of our fellow man, are made all the more insufferable when talking on their cell phones. They become louder, thinking that it’s still 2001 when talking on the phone was about as clear as a CB radio from space, and also, hearing just one side of a conversation is just aggravating.  Continue Reading→

Harley Davidsons – The Nickelback of transportation

Look, I get it, seeing as I’m an avid cyclist (goes once a week) that the feeling of wind blowing through what’s left of your hair is thrilling. It blends nature and speed into one beautiful cacophony of fun. I’m sure if my mom allowed it, I would very much enjoy hitting the open road on a motorcycle like I’m Dennis Hopper (fuck, forgot he died, my last memory of him is from Entourage, jesus, that has to hurt one’s legacy). There’s probably no better way to take a road trip than on some hog, minus of course, the inability to take a suitcase or even a toothbrush. So this isn’t me trying to shit on people who like motorcycles. Sure you are risking your life and health for the ability to essentially do what you could do for less money and risk on a bicycle, but you’re clearly just too lazy for creating your own movement and I’m totally okay with that. No, this is to shed light on those who buy a Harley, and then choose to ensure that anyone within earshot is also aware that they are on a Harley. Continue Reading→