Fail Bag: Drawn-out goodbyes are only okay on death beds

Welcome back to another installment of Fail Bag, where our readers send in what societal atrocities they think are Society Camp worthy. For those of you who haven’t seen your questions up yet, in time. We get literally thousands of letters a day, but most of them are takeout flyers.

Addison from Cranberry Township, Pennsylvania

Hi Society Camp. I’ve just returned home from a dinner with some friends (I only really like this one couple, the other couple are friends through friends, and they just talk about their kids’ soccer activities, which is about as enjoyable as a round of syphilis). After painfully making it through the night at some overpriced restaurant that thinks it’s legit because it has vintage Edison bulbs dangling throughout and reclaimed wood tables, we were finally free. All three couples made their way outside for the final goodbye on the sidewalk. You know the one, where it takes some ten minutes for everyone to finally leave. Is it just me, or are these goodbyes painful? I’ve just spent the entire night talking to these people, do I really need to spend another ten minutes standing on a sidewalk, summarizing how much fun we had and that we should definitely do it again sometime soon? Just walk out the door and say bye and be done with it, right? Also, people take too long saying goodbye on the phone. I can’t be the only one that hates a long goodbye?

Thanks for writing in, Addison. Is Addison your real name? No offense, but it’s awful. You sound like a calculator from the 80s, when calculators were the iPhone of their time. “Oh nice bro, you got yourself an Addison. Quadratic equations for liiiiife!” But I shouldn’t blame you, more so your parents that were probably naming you after some great aunt that everyone in the family thought was a real salty broad (which by the way, is the name of our Society Camp boat). Continue Reading→