Society Camp – The Podcast: Episode 1 is now live!

Our first full length episode is now live! Let this now be known in popular culture as Episode 1, as opposed to that movie about incest in space known as Star Wars. The link is below, or download it from Spotify, Google Podcasts and other platforms.

This 45 minutes of audio angst covers COVID conundrums, like dealing with all the awful art kids are ‘creating’. We hate on joggers and their juicy germs. We dig into our vault with our first ‘Fails from the Crypt Keeper’ to talk about horking in public. And we answer some Fail Bag questions, like why are puzzles so goddamn awful. Come for the new and improved sound, stay for the judgement.

And don’t forget to send in your questions, comments, memes and hate mail to:, or hit us up on our Society Camp Instagram and/or Facebook page.

And like all annoying podcasters, I’m going to ask for you to subscribe to the podcast wherever you get your pods (Apple is still pending but should be any day – they must know I’m an Android guy). Ugh, did I just call myself an Android guy? Imagine tying your persona to a some mobile operating system? Like those Apple fans who put the goddamn apple stickers on their bumper. Like that is what you are telling the world about yourself? That you like to overspend on phones every two years in some blind allegiance to a company that literally only cares about you in as much as you live long enough to buy more overpriced gadgets. But hey, we are looking forward to the Apple Podcast hook-up!

Thanks for tuning in! And stay tuned for some new articles coming up this week. Doing the lord’s work of saving you from your boredom, one trivial post at a time.

We have a podcast!

Writing posts was apparently too hard for our beloved Camp Director. The last time a post was submitted the only global virus people were afraid of was antibiotic resistant gonorrhoea. Bet we all wish we could go be going back to that simple time right about now.

While we are all stuck in our homes, trying our hardest not to kill our partners and family and blame it on an owl attack, we thought it a good time to launch our long awaited podcast. Now you can hear our angst in real time, as we discuss all the shitty things people continue to do. And given our current global pandemic, so many of humanity’s worst traits are on full display. I hope those bats that started all of this were fucking delicious (I’m going to assume deep-fried is the only acceptable way to eat a bat, not that I think any method is really acceptable, because a flying rat is as terrifying as it is germ infested).

Check out our trailer episode below (we know, trailer episodes are trash, but hey, at least this one is about as organised as a Jackson Pollock painting). A new, full episode will launch this week. And if you have any questions for the Fail Bag, send them to:, or send us a message on our Society Camp Facebook page. We also are about to launch an Instagram page and get back on Twitter. Look at us, all grown up and serious.

I blame Trump, for like, all my own failures.

Look, since we last spoke, shit has transpired. The world is forever changed. A bloated turnip with golden retriever pubes for a haircut, is the President. Anyway, you all know this and are probably sick of seeing your Facebook feed filled with his mug. This isn’t about his awful policies, his racists rhetoric, and his general inability to run the most powerful nation in the world. I’ll let actual reporters do that for me. No, this is simply my mea culpa for being a lazy asshole who wants to be a famous writer with the jaw of George Clooney and the abs of Madonna, but would rather play NBA JAM on the SNES than pretty much anything worthwhile, like going for a walk to see if the snow is gone yet.

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Fail Bag – The worst readers of 2015

Another miserable year has come to a close. The only real difference between 2015 and 2016 is we don’t yet know what awful stuff humanity has in store. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess it has something to do with continuing to enable gun crime, more armed conflicts that result in further armed conflicts, celebs doing dickish things with little to no consequence, and of course, all you plebs breaking the rules that make society moderately more hospitable and ending up in Society Camp. We receive a lot of mail here at Society Camp. It includes hate mail, directed at yours truly, mostly from parents thinking I’m too harsh on their kids who will never amount to anything more than misery and household debt. We also receive lots of letters and emails (it’s 2016 people, stop it with the handwritten letters) from readers all over the world who think they have spotted something that is Society Camp worthy. More often than not, the letters do accurately address some shitty behaviour that is best met with swift Society Camp reform. But from time to time, some of you send in suggested Society Camp worthy actions that are just plain wrong, and if anything, make you sound like someone who would be well served to spend some time here at Society Camp, in an attempt to repair your broken personality. Continue Reading→

Society Camp 101 – You know, we’re living in a society

People are awful. You know it, I know it, and awful people everywhere know it. It’s not entirely their fault, just a rotten mix of shitty parents and a society hell-bent on proving that altruism and good manners are only fit for Liam Neeson movies (he may be a bad-ass, but he will at least say please and thank you before shattering your pelvis and sticking his strong yet dirty finger in your malleable eye socket, while raising your young son after your premature death shortly before Christmas). Every day, more than once, I see something that someone does that is just selfish and shitty. I’m not talking about someone doing something sinister or criminal, just being a dick with a complete lack of awareness of what is acceptable in society. You know who I’m talking about, and in many ways, that person is me and you.

We all do things at times that are shitty. Either consciously or not, we forget that we live in a world made up of others. If you live on a deserted island, do whatever the hell it is you like. But when you’ve embraced Hobbes and given up your free will in the name of living in a society, please, for the love of man, stop being an asshole. Stop talking on the bus loud enough for the world to know that you and Chester got wasted last night. Stop walking on the sidewalk with your two other girlfriends arm-in-arm, like it’s some kind of one way catwalk that only belongs to you. Stop riding your bike on the sidewalk (sidewalks will be a constant theme in this blog, as they are the lifeline to societal asshatery). Stop reheating fish in the microwave at work. Stop listening to shitty music through your shitty Beats by Eh headphones, loud enough for the world to know you have awful taste in music and don’t know how to properly spend your money on electronics. Stop talking about Game of Thrones on the bus loud enough to ruin my winter months, when I hoard good TV for the sake of avoiding cruel mother nature and her frigid touch. Stop referring to a sports team you support as “we”, unless you’re on the fucking team (punters don’t count). Stop putting dog ears in your books, unless you’re reading Fifty Shades or Dan Brown’s latest religious mystery porn, in which case, stop reading. Stop taking away my plate when my dining companion is still eating, and be fucking sure to ask if I’m done first. Stop bending to Starbucks’ will and ordering made up names for cup sizes, and also, get better taste in coffee. So many things to stop doing, so little smart people to stop doing them.

You get the point, as a society, we are doing annoying and selfish things to each other. Some of us are unaware of which social mores we are disregarding, which still doesn’t make it okay. And others know exactly what they’re doing, and these people are simply monsters, though to be fair, I’m using the term monster in its quaintest form, as even if Aaron Hernandez had sidewalk etiquette down pat (pun!), he’d still be a bigger monster. But still, are you gonna let Aaron Hernandez walk a sidewalk in a more socially aware manner than you? You fucking monster.

So what can we, as a society, do to ensure that we aren’t so shitty to each other? And not in a ‘people should volunteer more and be nicer to their fellow man’ kinda way, simply in a, ‘people need to move to the fucking right of the escalator if they’re just gonna stand there’ kinda way. Well what we can do is start a Society Camp where these people can be sent to in order to learn how to properly operate in society. You drive your bike on the sidewalk even through you’re an adult, well, you just earned yourself a day in Society Camp, where you will spend the entire time glued to a sidewalk dodging people on bikes. You think it’s okay to listen to Iggy Azalea at volume 11 on your open ear headphones, you just got a half day at Society Camp, where you’ll be locked into a dark room and serenaded by a shirtless Chad Kroeger the entire time (Photograph on repeat). Every offence will be met with a different sentence (from hours to days, and maybe one day we’ll discuss something egregious enough to think about weeks/months), and coupled with a different reform activity. Don’t worry, this camp, though not as fun as the summer variety, will be a far departure from those used by, you know, oppressive regimes and Scientology. No one will die or get hurt. They will just learn what it means to be a part of a society. And though Society Camp, for now, only lives in our hearts and minds, be warned, that if you are a dick who doesn’t know how to be a fucking human when among your peers, Society Camp is watching.

So Pretty much just think, would Larry David shit on me for doing this? If the answer is yes, society camp awaits. In the words of  our generation’s great philosopher/poet laureate George Costanza, “You know, we’re living in a society!”. That we are Mr. Costanza, that we are.